you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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