well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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