Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
