You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you inspire me to be a worse person
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
