I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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