Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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