So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
