Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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