you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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