idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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