So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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