Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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