Can i not drive my cunt home
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
