I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
