Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
