Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
