It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
