Whod you bang
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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