omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
