Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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