I will die if light touches me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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