I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just high enough for therapy.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
