turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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