Will you blow on my dice?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
