We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
