NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
