yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
