But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
