Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
