Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
