At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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