I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
