Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
