Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
