I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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