This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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