Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
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