You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
