i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
