his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
