Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Who died my cat blue again?
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