Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
