are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
