I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
