He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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