i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
