Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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