Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
