Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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