is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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