i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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