I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
