Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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