How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
