its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
